My husband apologises first — Efe Orhorha

 

Actors, Jude and Efe Orhorha, have been married for eight years. They talk about the pains and gains of marraige

How did you meet your wife?

Jude: I met her in 1995 on the set of a stage production I was involved in. She came to see her mum who is now deceased. We chatted but didn’t hit it off at once. I never knew we would get married and I didn’t know she was also an actress when I met her.

Efe: I did not even think I would marry an Urhobo or a Delta man. This was not planned; marriage came and I embraced it.

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Why didn’t you ask her to date you the first time you met?

Jude: At that time, we lived far apart from each other and mobile phones had not been introduced. We only started dating   in 2003 and in the years leading to this period, there was barely any room for communication.

What was the initial attraction?

Jude:She is humble, sincere and down-to-earth. By the time we began dating, I realised she is more responsible than I thought despite being an actress.

Efe: I saw in him a promising and gentle man who was and still is disciplined and different.

Have you ever featured in the same production?

Jude: Yes, we have and we were on-screen lovers in a movie titled Beyond Obligation that was shot in 2003. Coincidentally, we began dating after we starred in the movie. We commenced dating after we saw each other often on set. We got married in 2007.

At what point did you decide to marry her?

Jude: I asked her to marry me after we finished shooting the movie and she was shocked. I was convinced that she was the right woman for me; I had asked some friends who knew her to speak about her character. We both investigated each other.

Why did you accept to marry him?

Efe: I was not anxious to get married when we met but I fell in love with his personality. I didn’t even know he had fallen in love with me until he told me so himself.

How would you describe your union?

Jude: It has been an interesting ride. We have our issues but we handle it in a mature manner. Being popular faces, there is the likelihood that people will make up stories about us. That is why it is important for us to communicate with each other so no one is kept in the dark.

Efe: I am married to a wonderful person who is also my friend. I do not know how to describe Jude, but every marriage has its good and bad times. I am a quiet person but my husband always tells me to be more entertaining.

How interesting is it being married to a fellow actor?

Jude: Because we are in the same industry, we understand each other perfectly. If after we might have had a quarrel at home and we find ourselves on the same set, we put aside our differences and play our roles.

Efe: It is interesting but it can be challenging at the same time. For instance, when you see some actors behave in an improper manner, you are almost forced to assume your spouse might be engaged in such unholy acts.

How did you adjust to married life?

Efe: Before I got married, I was very disciplined and that has helped me in my marriage. Because I am married, I don’t sty longer than necessary at movie locations and if I do not have to go on set a day before because I can go first thing in the morning, I do so. My marriage comes first.

How do you handle each other’s fans?

Jude: She barely mingles because she has had not pleasant experiences with friends in the past. As a result, she is very selective.

Efe: I don’t feel threatened by his female friends and I am not bothered by such trivial things. Even if you do not go looking for women, they will come looking for you. I know who I am married to and I am okay with that knowledge.

What would you like to change about each other?

Jude: I would not want to change anything about her because I love everything about her.

Efe: I wish he was taller. I am taller than he is and I love to wear heels. Because of him I try not to wear heels so I don’t tower over him. However, I am not insinuating my husband is a short man.

Do you have access to each other’s social media accounts?

Jude: Yes, I do and she also has access to mine. There is nothing to hide. We both go through each other’s Instagram accounts but not deliberately.

Efe: I cannot to be too involved with his social media accounts because of my profession. Also, I am not an ardent fan of the social media.

Who apologises first after you must have had a disagreement?

Efe: My husband apologises first and I also do from time to time.

How do you stay off scandals?

Jude: We are a very reserved couple but people tend to term it snobbery. We don’t usually attend red carpet events. I shy away from such because when you are a famous face, it is difficult to live a private life. All I care about is people appreciating my craft. We both understand that no matter how successful you are in career, if you are not happy at home, you are incomplete.

Efe: A while ago, a magazine reported that my husband was a frequent visitor to strip clubs and I showed it to him.We laughed over it because I know him to well to want to consider such a report. If this had happened to some other couple, it would have led to a quarrel. We understand each other and try as much as possible to be suspicious of side talks.

Do you critique your spouse’s work?

Jude: We rarely critique each other’s works because we hardly have the time except when we go to the cinemas to watch films.

What pet names do you call each other?

Jude: I call her babe and she calls me JD.

What tips will you proffer for a successful marriage?

Jude: Communication, trust and God must come first.

Does he help out with the house chores?

Efe: My husband is very good at assisting me with the house chores. He brings me breakfast in bed sometimes and I love him for that.