As a princess, did you always look forward to being a regent someday?
Not really, because when I was growing
up, my father was a prince and I never thought he would vie for the
throne. But when the need arose, some people in the community approached
him that they wanted him to contest. Initially, I was indifferent about
it, but the normal thing in our family is to support one another’s
dream, so, we supported him. However, the only thing that I was worried
about then was that I knew that when he passed on, I would become the
regent. But then, not in my wildest dream did I or anyone in my family
ever think that he would pass away so soon.
When you were called to come and take up this assignment, did you lose sleep over it?
At that time, I was still in so much
shock that my dad had passed away. Of course, immediately I heard he had
passed away, the first thing I said was ‘Oh My God, I’m going to Akure
to be a regent.’ It dawned on me instantly but I could not come to terms
with it. It took me like a month to actually prepare myself for the
assignment. It was like a rude awakening when I got the call but I knew
it was something I had to do. I had to make some arrangements at my work
place, and put things in order before I left. When the Deji is crowned,
there is also a crowned princess, and that was when my dad was crowned.
So, I never for once thought I wouldn’t come to answer the call. Though
I wished the responsibility had fallen on my brother because it would
have been easier for a man to assume this kind of challenging
responsibility, unlike for a woman, a wife and mother.
Did your husband or children try to discourage you from coming?
My children were very young then but
they later had a little idea of what mum was doing as a regent, but my
husband was very supportive. It wouldn’t have been easy but he’s a
strong man. We encourage each other as much as we can. He knew that it
was an obligation that I had to fulfil. Even though it was very
challenging, he was supportive. Without him, I would not have the peace
of mind or good state of mind to do the job. His support helped me to
stay for this long; it’s been more than a year now.
How often were you seeing them as a regent?
I used to travel almost every month or
two because I missed them terribly. I missed my children and I missed
being a mum. When I left to become the regent, my last baby was a year
and half. So, I missed a part of their growing up. There was a time I
travelled home and my baby said “Mum’s back” and I was stunned. I really
missed home and they have missed me too. It’s been very hectic
shuttling between Akure and the US to see them and it’s a risk as well.
But while I’m still here, we use Skype and other means like calls and
messages to communicate and stay in touch. Though, it can never be the
same with being there, we try to have that open communication at all
times. They are still very young, else, I would have considered coming
with them.
Did the position affected your role as a wife, in terms of intimacy with your husband?
(Chuckles) It didn’t really affect it
per se to a detrimental level. But of course, it did. My husband is very
understanding and we communicate very well. Also, that was part of the
reason I was travelling so often, so we tried to make the best of the
time we had together. He couldn’t visit me as much as I could visit him
because he stays with the children, so it was easier and more convenient
for me to go, and of course I like travelling back home because it gave
me a breather, like a little get away from here.
Being the regent, what was he calling you?
At times Kabiyesi, and of course we have other endearing names for each other, but most of the time, he calls me kabiyesi.
When you travelled to the US, were you still dressing like a regent?
Yes, because I was representing an
institution. Though I wasn’t wearing the full regalia (the crown and
agbada), I wore the shirt and trouser (buba and sooro) and my
cap. The first time I travelled, I was shy about people seeing me and
when I got to the US, a lot of people asked questions and I had to
explain to them. I got used to it after some time. A lot of them found
it fascinating and asked for a photo-op. So, it’s been educating for
some people.With that, I was able to expose an aspect of Yoruba culture
to foreigners. Usually, once I got home, I would go back to my shirt and
jeans, unless I had a function during which I had to represent the
throne and the traditional institution.
How did you feel being the traditional ruler of a big town like Akure?
Occupying a seat like the Deji of Akure
came with huge responsibilities. I didn’t bask in the euphoria of being
the regent. I’m thankful to God being in the position and I’m thankful
to have met some people. But at the same time, I looked at it with a
heart of servitude. I’ was there to serve, and I knew it was a temporary
position, so I didnt let it get to my head.
Leaving your job for an uncertain length of time was like a risk and sacrifice. Do you see it as that?
Yes, it was a big risk and a lot of
sacrifice. I’m a registered pharmacist in the US, and knowing that I had
to come for this, I had to make some consultations. When I asked the
chiefs how long it could take to select a new king, they said about six
months or a year, so I decided to take leave of absence and I got leave
for about a year.
Now that you’ve been here for more than a year, aren’t you worried about losing your job?
I’m not worried. Initially, I was
worried that I would lose it but I left everything in the hands of God
who knows and sees all things. Basically, what happens is that after one
year, I won’t be able to secure the same job anymore, but I won’t lose
my job and if that happens, I’ll get another one, even better than what I
have. The most important thing is life and as long as I have that, I
have good health, hope and my licence, by God’s grace I can always get
another job. God will never leave me or forsake me.
Did you enjoy the office or was it a burden?
I can’t say I enjoyed it and I won’t say
it was a burden. I’m a very young person, I have young kids and a young
marriage, so having to leave all that and be away from my family was
very hard, but that is the tradition and I learnt from the experience.
From being a pharmacist to a traditional ruler, how were you able to cope with the demands of the office?
It was very challenging. I believe the
first thing one should ask for on assuming any position is wisdom, and I
prayed to God to give me wisdom for each day. Being on the throne came
with its own challenges everyday; different cases, disputes and issues.
It was totally different from pharmacy. Here, you’re dealing with
elderly people, tradition, and I had to learn the tradition. I didn’t
know it fully. I never grew up in Akure, so I didn’t know the tradition
of Akure, but the chiefs, palace chiefs and queens of the past kings who
live in the palace, were of help, greatly. It wasn’t not a one man show
but a communal effort.
When you became the regent, did you have such fears that people associate with palaces?
I did. I couldn’t sleep very well on my
first night as the regent in the palace (laughs…) I don’t think I had
two hours of deep sleep, and I barely shut my eyes throughout the night.
I couldn’t even sleep in the bedroom, I laid on the couch; sat gently
and tilted my head with a little pillow. It was a combination of
anxiety, fear of the unknown, uncertainty and mixed feelings, and the
fact that I was still mourning my dad, who passed on in the palace. The
palace is a traditional place, so with all that in mind, I couldn’t
sleep well that first night. Thank God for the people around me, like my
mum, my sister and some relatives.
Could that be one of the reasons why you didn’t live in the palace?
I think it was a thing of preference. It
was about my privacy. For me, I liked the fact that after the day had
ended, I could retire into the privacy of my home quietly, even though
some people still came to the house to see me. Even when I stayed in my
private residence, it was still considered a palace because as the
regent, anywhere I went, I carried the institution with me, and anywhere
I went, the palace was represented, so I don’t think that kings not
living in the palace is in anyway a digression from the norm.
What did you miss most about your private life?
The word ‘private’ was what I missed
about my private life. I missed being with my family, waking up and my
kids running to my room and shouting mum repeatedly. I love being a mum,
and when you have young kids, the best time to enjoy them is when they
are young. They say the most amazing things, and even though they do
give troubles, they are fun to be with. I do tell my husband that even
after having the most hectic day as a mum, coupled with children’s
naughty habits, I still thank God for them. It’s fulfilling. When they
do wrong things and they give you a warm hug, it melts your heart and
you forget every bad thing they have done for the day. So, I missed my
children giving me a peck, hug or kiss. I just missed my family and I
missed being at home. Once you become a public figure, you don’t have
privacy anymore, from waking up to going to bed, people were always
around me. If I had to go somewhere, I had to inform at least
five people, and I couldn’t go without
an entourage. I had to consult people before taking certain decisions
and people took note of almost everything I did or said. So I missed my
privacy.
But won’t you miss some of the perquisites attached to the office?
No. You can best believe that I will not
miss the attention and other paraphernalia, because I’m a very private
person. Then, when I go out, the trumpet person in the palace, called Onifere,
blows the trumpet to announce my arrival, even sometimes we get to
certain places and I tried to tell him to pipe it low to at least reduce
the attention but he gets excited doing it. So I won’t miss the
attention.
No doubt, the position
enabled you to meet some big personalities many people would like to
meet in person, aren’t you going to miss that?
That came with the position, especially
occupying an exotic seat like the Deji of Akure kingdom. It’s not a
small village, it’s the capital city of Ondo State. Within the past
year, I met people like former President Goodluck Jonathan, his Vice,
Alhaji Namadi Sambo, former Senate President, David Mark, President
Muhammadu Buhari and his Vice, Prof. Yemi Osinbajo and many other top
personalities. They were at the palace during the campaign. When I met
such people, there was nothing particular about it and I didn’t get
carried away. Of course, I saw it as a privilege and I’m happy that I
have met them, but it came with the position.
How were you relating with other kings, more so that many of them were old enough to be a father to you?
It was more like daughter to father relationship, even though they addressed me as kabiyesi.
And I maintained same cordial father-daughter relationship with those
who were my father’s friends. I sought counsel from them and still
showed them that respect with my demeanour, body language and persona. I
didn’t put it on my head that we were fellow traditional rulers. I also
had a cordial relationship with other regents.
What was your most memorable moment as a regent?
That’s a tough one. I had many memorable
moments. One of the memorable moments that I could recollect was during
the campaigns. It was very interesting and I was delighted to be able
to host the former president and his VP, the incumbent president and the
VP and some other personalities. So, it was a memorable time.
Was there ever a time you didn’t feel good holding this position?
There was a time we had some market
women riot and there were disputes in the town, because they didn’t
channel their frustration the proper way. It was a little challenging. I
didn’t like it but we were able to dialogue and things went back to
normalcy. That was just one of the low times.
What fond memories of your dad do you have?
My dad was a caring and loving man. He
was an excellent man and I found no fault in him. He was an intelligent
man who was very full of wisdom. He used to teach us life lessons and
tell us stories. He believed in hard work, education and he was a giver.
He was a jokester and knew how to put smiles on people’s face. He
really loved Akure and sought to be the Deji to elevate the standards
and bring prestige back to the stool of Deji, and in that short period,
he did his best, but God has his own ways. He used to tell us that even
if he couldn’t drive the best cars or live in the best houses, his
children would have the best in life, including education, and that he
didn’t have any inheritance for any child apart from education. I miss
my dad. When I was newly installed, I would sit in the sitting room
adjacent to his bedroom and hope that the door would open and he would
come out and everything about his demise would be ‘April fool.’ Later
on, it dawned on us that he was gone. When I heard, I cried and I
couldn’t eat for two days.
How was growing up?
I was born in the late 70s in Ibadan,
Oyo State. That was where my three siblings and I grew up. Growing up
was fun and wonderful. As the first child, I was very close to my late
father. We had a wonderful time and my parents were very nurturing and
very dedicated to our education. I lived in Ibadan until I was about 14
years old when I left for the United States. When I got to the US, I
went straight to High School and with some guidance and prayers; I chose
pharmacy as a profession. I attended Texas Southern University in
Houston, Texas where I studied Pharmacy up to PhD level, also known as
Pharm D. And I have lived in the US since then.
Having left at that young age, how easy was it coming back home under that circumstance?
Even though I lived about a decade and
half here before I travelled to the US, it was a little bit apprehensive
coming back, just for the fact that I had to leave my family back
there. Also, I had to leave the comfort I was already accustomed to in
the US, such as electricity, water supply, good roads, etc. But it was a
sacrifice that I had to make.
Did your dad readily support your marriage to a man from another culture in spite of your royal background?
He was a non-tribalistic man. First of
all, he was even happy that I brought someone home, so he was excited
meeting my husband and he never questioned me why I married a man from
Delta State. When he became king, he made friends with Emirs, Igwes and
traditional rulers across the country, regardless of tribe.
How did you meet him?
I met him in the US through a friend. I
went to visit a friend, so he came down to visit his cousin who is my
friend, and we greeted briefly. When I left, my friend told me that her
cousin liked me but I dismissed it as if it was nothing so she asked if
he could give him my number and I said no problem. However, when he
called me, from the first conversation, that was it. I just got hooked.
(Laughs). I don’t know what it was. After that, we would talk and talk.
And he’s such an intelligent person. Sometimes when you talk to some
persons for about two minutes, you get bored and wonder what they are
really saying. But he has vast knowledge and I was intrigued. He just
captivated me and that was it. We got married in 2004.
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